Friday, April 1, 2011

twenty five
years of heartache
it seems the hole in my heart
just gets deeper and more hollow
and the number of men
keeps growing, declining.
no one has ever counted the freckles on my body,
have taken no pictures, or whispered in my ear the word love.
the poems written about me, have never been seen though
im sure they exist.
i am no ones muse.
and these are things that occupy my mind
while im showering or trying to fall asleep
on the couch because the bed is too big for one.

5 comments:

  1. you don't know me but you've seen me before

    we've shared less than 72 words in two years

    i don't know you either.
    sometimes i wonder if i should.
    the fictional you that lives in my head has shed her mortal vessel and become goddess
    of words
    of image
    of creation..

    and i wonder if i should really get to know you, not out of fear of disappointment

    no, with you it's fear that you would become more to me than she ever could be.

    and i know my heart can scarcely contain what i feel for her
    and then there's that pesky little voice that asks if i could be enough for you...

    i'm not so concerned with answering it, whoever it may be

    my concern lies in your doubt of your existence as a muse!

    ever since the first time i saw you read
    not only did my heartbeats double in speed, but i was reminded of why i started writing in the first place.
    that look of sweet release on your face as your own words left your lips

    i wanted that again
    i needed to have something to say

    so i embarked on a quest
    a quest to find something worth saying

    to you, to my friends, to anyone with an ear for adventure, fantasy, mystery or danger


    i've yet to find all of the words, but i've uncovered a few
    and i wouldn't have found them if it weren't for you.
    and i won't stop looking either.

    so for this my muse, i love you.

    i don't know if any of this does you any good, but you are rather important to a lot of people. you're important to me.

    i know that's not much comfort on nights spent sleeping cold and alone, because i know those nights rather well myself..
    but a girl as wonderful as you shouldn't ever have to be so sad, unless she needs to write about it.

    and it seems you do for now..

    but not forever.

    i have a feeling you'll have great and marvelous things to say!
    not just about the world, but of yourself.

    and these words might not be as far away as it seems.
    they might be just around the corner if you know where to look.

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  2. reading this makes me sad. that guy i saw you with tonight.....he's a joke. and i saw in your eyes that you were just on auto-pilot. you and i should get together soon and talk new orleans, and rain, and poems, and death, and heaven. then, maybe we can watch "bronx tale". lol.

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  3. The guy I was with is a joke in the sense he makes my heart laugh and smile.

    I'm going through some bullshit heartache right now that I knew better to fall for, let me do what I know best as of right now..

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  4. oh and also dannyfrom504, assuming that i havent been on auto-pilot my entire life would might have been a better judgement.

    it's funny the one you think is a joke has been the only guy in more recents days to put up with my bullshit and depression, which is saying this man might be a saint. holy at its finest.

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