"i couldn't make a move without making love"
I do wish I knew who Richard Brautigan was.I've seen his words on your chest many times, but I never want to look close enough to see what he said.well, that's wrong because i do want to look, but social etiquette disagrees, and politely suggests that I shouldn't look that close..you ask who I am, but I wonder if when the mystery dissolves if I my words would lose their effect. I may write better than I can act.I have no wish to tease nor torture or taunt.maybe tease a bit if it suits you..I'll stay in these lonely woods for now. At least until you can say your heart isn't broken.if you can believe it, so can I.and then, only then, can the springs of life be tapped.wells of love, more precious than water, can flow through your heart,and maybe mine.who knows what happens when our time travels to the future..only the past holds the keys to our answers. clouds of doubt, regret, and ambivalence shroud our paths every day.illumination derives from leaving fear and heartbreak behind.I'm afraid of who I was, who I am, and who I will be.I'm sure you are as well, as for now we are only human.But for you I can become stronger everyday.I will face myself in the mirror and see who I have to be better than tomorrow.if you can do the same.
I act better than i can write, but i love even harder.I ask who you are but know that once there is a name and a face the mystery will dissolve because the thrill is what im after. or so the story goes....broken hearts, they don't go away or dissapear they get covered up, in hopes that the new man wont do the same, but i of course will never give him the chance. i cling to broken hearts, i dont know how else to act without one.illuminate. humans. hmmm---if i do the same as you I wont be that Jessica anymore.these smiles are rare, when they happen, the men who made them appear feel accomplished in some way////
actually, i regretted that last comment sequence the second I clicked the post button.please allow me to introduce one of my many disastrous character flaws.excessive preachyness following heavy alcohol consumption. hollow.i realize it may come off as stale and trite, and when it comes down to it, i guess it really is..you're absolutely right about heart break, and the idea of you being the same as me is a dreadful idea.all the nonsense about illumination through abandoning the fear and heartbreak was a rather bad attempt to get you to cheer up and smile more. completely devoid of tact and depth though. so many years of absorbing whitewashed buddhism and psychology as deep as a puddle tends to creep it's way into my thought patterns as often as my southern accent slips out with the first few drops of whiskey.. please call me out on it, because i don't really want that to be what i'm remembered by. i don't believe it either.your heartbreaks made the beautiful you that exists today, and I wouldn't want to see you lose your well of inspiration to some silly escapist mantra.you're smarter than that.i hope you enjoyed your tequila tonight senorita whittington
but of course---hungover, you still have yet to email me that story!